Loading ...Gross Movie Reviews #133
Posted by Tim on July 30, 2008Gross Movie Reviews #133
By Tim Gross
Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (DVD) – Third in the series of a million which is awesome… has two kids that are adopted from ‘evil’ Gatlin, Nebraska and are forced to adapt to their new city life. One kid accepts the new surroundings while the other begins to grow the evil corn in an abandon building and gathers the local kids to start an uprising against the adults! Not a bad, but interesting horror film for being third in the series and direct-to-video and if that doesn’t get you it’s a must watch just to see a pre-Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series Nicholas Brendan and I think in a uncredited role Charlize Thereon? I give the movie 2 stars.
The Dead Pit (DVD) – Finally… “The… Dead… Pit…” can be seen by millions and millions of horror nerds in its unrated beauty! Code Red did a wonderful job of getting this DVD out. For those who never been blessed with watching this classic 80s horror film about a doctor who likes to perform experiments on mental patients. His partner finds out about him and kills him! Then buries him with his patients. Twenty years later, a woman who is a Jane Doe, shows up and the evil doctor rises from the dead to kill patients again… Movie is filled with great gore scenes and is a really cool horror film for a time in the late 80s it seemed horror was beginning to die a little. I give this ‘must own’ classic 3 ½ stars.
Camp Blood (DVD) – A very low budget production from some filmmakers who are “Friday the 13th” fans decide to make a movie about a clown masked killer in the woods. Cheap but a fun movie as you sift through the crap that you would call the first half of the film and finally the second half you get to see people getting killed off one by one until there is one survivor and the killer is the twist in the story. Can be lame at times but fun to drink beer and watch a film from the great Brad “The Zombie Chronicles is a big piece of shit” Sykes as I give it 1 ½ stars and can be found through www.razordigitalent.com .
Camp Blood 2 (DVD) – A low budget sequel this time around has a filmmaker search out the lone survivor from the first “Camp Blood” to oversee his vision of her story of what actually happen. Of course he wants blood and boobs which we get and it is worth it because all I can say is nipple rings! Who knows what else happens in the rest of the fucking movie, all I could see for a day was nipple rings! Somebody else dresses up as the masked clown killer and begins the killing spree again, nada, nada, nada, nipple rings! I give it 2 stars and can be found at www.razordigitalent.com .
Within the Woods (DVD) – Actually the third movie in the “Camp Blood” series but with a different title like the great horror film, “Slumber Party Massacre 4 aka Cheerleader Massacre”. This time around the clown masked killer shows up to ruin the reality show that is taken place on the holy killing ground of “Camp Blood” and killing everyone who is there for the show including the fake killer! Interesting concept, but very hard to pull off on such a slim budget… I give this flick 1 star and can be found at www.razordigitalent.com .
Bloody Birthday (DVD) – A slick horror flick from 1981 that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle of all the cool flicks out at that time? But this horror flick is about three kids that are ten years old and born during an eclipse in June 1970. They were born to not give a rat shit and think up evil fucked up ways to kill their classmates, teacher, babysitter, parents, the horror never ends? It’s B-movie greatness… A must see for any fan of horror films! I give this cool flick 3 stars.
The X-Files: I Want To Believe (Theater) – Yeah, I heard the early reviews: ‘It misses the spot’ or ‘Not that good’. Fuck you all! I loved that the film was a film for the hardcore fans of the TV show. It not only progressed the storyline from six years ago but gave the franchise some closure in case there is not another ‘X-Files’ film. The film is about the FBI seeking Mulder’s help in a strange case of a possible serial killer and an ex-priest that is having visions of where a body part, a missing woman, etc. are at but not be able to see everything like who did it? Mulder at the pushing of Scully, decides to help the FBI but gets more involved then he can ever believe. Maybe the film did take too long too get out and maybe there isn’t enough geeks out there to support it as they have moved on to other shows or series but I believe this film is an excellent sci-fi film that does not come around too often these days. Go give the movie a try as I give it 3 stars.
Anaconda 3 (DVD/Sci-fi Channel) – 100 foot CGI snake versus David Haselhoff, 3 stars of B-movie goodness!
Black Caesar (VHS) – A great exploitation flick starring Fred Williamson as a black man who worked his way up through the prison system and gets out with one goal in mind to over throw the man who has been pushing around black people for way too long and take over Harlem! A cool kick ass flick with one cool ass movie soundtrack done by the legendary James Brown. The film is a great introduction into “blaxploitation” films (as it once was called) and one the best films that represent what the 70s were all about. I give the movie 4 stars.
Any comments or questions please send to: GrossMovieReview@aol.com or www.myspace.com/slasherfilmfan . Also you can purchase any of my three horror movie review books, “Gross Movie Reviews Volume One, Two, or Three” at www.lulu.com or www.amazon.com . You can also find other reviews from me at www.bastardsofhorror.com , www.bloodtypeonline.com , and in the movie review section of the latest Ultra Violent magazine (www.uvmagazine.com). Remember folks if you are renting from Blockbuster you are not renting from the best! Support your local independent video store! It will keep horror alive………
Don’t forget to catch me at Louisville, Kentucky’s Fright Night Film Fest August 15-17th, 2008. Check out www.frightnightfilmfest.com for more details.
My book links if interested in purchasing a copy of my books:
Volume Three
http://www.lulu.com/content/2497428
Volume Two Red Cover
http://www.lulu.com/content/738100
Volume Two Alternate (black) Cover
http://www.lulu.com/content/751465
Volume One
http://www.lulu.com/content/265208