Loading ...Gross Movie Reviews #109
Posted by Tim on December 23, 2007Gross Movie Reviews #109
By Tim Gross
Hello horror movie fans, I didn’t think I would be writing anymore this year but I got bored and watched a bunch in a couple days just for the hell of it. So after this see you on the flip side of 2008 and as I will begin the journey to book number 4, as these reviews will wrap up book number 3. So read, enjoy, and have a good holiday!
Showdown at Area 51 (DVD/Sci-fi channel) – Another Sci-fi channel production that has two alien races pitted against each other trying to find this alien techno thing on earth. One alien trying to kill the earth, the other trying to save earth. Bad CG effects and bad over the top acting starring Jeremy London from “Dazed and Confused†are the highlights of this boring fight for earth. Do everybody a favor and pass over this one unless you are completely drunk then watch five minutes of it so can fall asleep. I give it ½ star.
Hellgate: The House That Screamed 2 (DVD) – It’s a sequel, but no relation to the 80s horror film “Hellgateâ€. Who would have guessed I would be reviewing a sequel? But anyhow one of my favorite filmmakers Jon “Woodchipper Massacre†McBride teams up with low budget filmmakers ‘The Polonia Brothers’ to make a micro budget film about a house that seems to be haunted and be the a gateway to hell. All who enter die or disappear. Well, some ‘Ghost Hunter’ types played by Jon McBride, one of the Polonia brothers, and Jeff Dylan Graham travel to the house to either debunk the theory of the house or found out if it is truly haunted. The movie has its moments with the low budget effects but its big highlight is the eye candy, “Leslie Culton†who you wish was in the whole film that plays one of the victims of the house. Take my word for it folks she makes the DVD worth seeking out. The film isn’t one of McBride’s best efforts but the informative interviews and extras make up for it as it is definite help guide for other micro budget filmmakers. I give Leslie 4 stars but the DVD 2 stars. You can find at www.b-movie.com .
Terror House (DVD) – Jon “Cannibal Campout†McBride and the Polonia Brothers are back together again to make a film about three college students stuck in a house with a half man half thing in the basement that is trying to kill them. Some low budget gore and the low budget effects make the film watchable but again the highlight is the extras on the DVD as they are very helpful for other micro budget filmmakers and anybody that is just interested in how to make an effective low budget horror film that can be sold to production companies. I give the DVD 2 stars and can be found at www.inspiredpictures.com .
Black Sheep (DVD) – A very funny New Zealand horror film about a farm where sheep are part of an experiment for the future for sheep farming. One brother is going too far with the scientific experiments and the other brother is just trying to stay alive and not be eaten by cannibal sheep. It has the usual spots in the film where you know a laugh is coming but the blood and gore is plentiful and beautiful to watch. The ending of the film of how they destroy the sheep had me laughing for 15 minutes after the film. Sorry fart jokes are funny. Well worth the rental fee as I give the DVD 3 stars.
Undead or Alive (DVD) – A zombie western starring Chris Kattan as a bumbling cowboy teamed up with a mysterious cowboy who seems to have everyone after for the money he is carrying. The film also stars the beautiful “Feast†star Navi Rawat. The film is about “the white man’s curse†which is a curse that turns the white people into zombies who have driven the Indians off their lands. Slowly many people are being eaten by or bitten by other zombies starting a zombie army. The film is interesting and somewhat funny but the ending and how the two cowboys get cured of “the white man’s curse†makes the film. I give the DVD 2 ½ stars.
Transformers (DVD) – A full length CG’d film of the popular 80s cartoon that has cars, planes, construction vehicles, able to transform into huge robots that talk and have the power to destroy buildings and anything else in its path. The story centers around a high school teenager who is just trying to make enough money to get a cool car and get the girl of his dreams but suddenly becomes the key to earth’s survival as he has glasses from his great grandfather that has the map of where the orb is located at that the Autobots and Decepticons are searching for. Being a huge fan of the 80s cartoon but never owning any of the toys seen the film as a fun mindless two hour action film. I have heard some grumblings from other “transformers†fans saying how crappy the film looked, but in my opinion I couldn’t see what other way to go with it than they did with the film. The film is lots of fun and non-stop and fun for the kids also as I give the DVD 3 ½ stars.
Flight of the Dead (DVD) – Flesh eating zombies on an airplane equals, a bloody fun b-movie, I give it 3 stars.
1408 (DVD) – The movie is adapted from a Steven King story and stars John Cusack as a writer who goes to all these haunted places and writes about scary they all are but knows none of them are haunted until he receives a postcard about room 1408 in a hotel in New York City. He visits the hotel and checks in to room 1408 knowing that no one has survived more than an hour. John not only finds out the room is haunted but finds something else he has been looking for since his daughter died. The film is scary and creepy at times but the film solely works because of John Cusack’s rare horror film performance. His acting is what carries the film and makes it effective and worth watching. Its one of the few Steven King books to movie adaptations worth watching these days. I give the DVD 3 ½ stars.
Any comments or questions please send to: LAN_EMAIL_SUBS or www.myspace.com/slasherfilmfan . Also you can purchase my two horror movie review books, “Gross Movie Reviews Volume One and Two†at www.lulu.com or www.amazon.com . But also the book is available again at Incredibly Strange Video in Dormont, Pa. or www.incrediblystrangevideo.com . You can also find other reviews from me at www.bastardsofhorror.com , www.bloodtypeonline.com , and in the movie review section of the latest Ultra Violent magazine (www.uvmagazine.com). Remember folks if you are renting from Blockbuster you are not renting from the best! Support your local independent video store! It will keep horror alive………
