Loading ...Gross Movie Reviews #82
Posted by Tim on March 8, 2007Gross Movie Reviews #82
By Tim Gross
Angel Season Two (DVD) – With the series finally taking off it didn’t have to rely not nearly as much on the “Buffy†crossovers for it to gain an audience. The second season, the creators went into more detail but also more vague as to what the ‘powers to be’ had planned for Angel. If that wasn’t enough the evil lawyers brought back not only Darla to torture Angel, but they also brought back Dru! With these two characters back there were some great but very downbeat and dark episodes of the series. Along the way Angel meets a demon named ‘Lorne’ who is able to read your thoughts if you do karaoke and also the last three or four episodes of the season are all about ‘Lorne’ and his home dimension. Season Two didn’t answer many questions for fans but raised more instead including opening even more storylines for future seasons as season two progressed. If that wasn’t enough he visited ‘Faith’ in jail to keep what would be long running small storyline throughout the series. Season Two of Angel is well worth the buy if you are a fan? I give this DVD set 3 stars.
Monster House (DVD) – An animated film with a PG rating about a boy on the verge of becoming a teenager who thinks the house across the street is alive. The boy watches the house constantly as the old man that lives there takes everyone’s ball, bike, etc. if it hits his grass. It becomes clear it is up to the boy to find out the mystery of the ‘haunted house’. A great animated family film that I consider just as good as “The Incredibles†and “Shrekâ€. I give it 3 ½ stars.
Snakes on a Plane (DVD) – Well, this film was exactly what I thought it was. An overblown Hollywood version of a Sci-fi channel Saturday night film. This movie was no better than a ‘Boa’ or ‘Python’ and pretty much even made those films worth watching to the mainstream crowd compared to this limp killer snake movie! All hype and no venom should have been the tagline for this film. I give it 2 stars.
Revenge of the Rats (DVD) – The film is also known as ‘Scratch’ which came out to DVD in 2001 but has been reissued under this name recently. Another killer rat movie from Europe that starts off okay but slowly dies a horrible death as the film progresses. Not enough killer rats and blood is what hurt this film from becoming apart of my favorite rat horror films as there is many of them. If you see it on the rental shelves move on as there is at least 5 or 6 other killer rat movies made in the past decade that are way better than this piece of rat shit. I give this movie 1 star.
The Body Snatcher (VHS) – A black and white film made in the mid-40’s that stars Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff in movie about a medical school doctor who is experimenting on dead people given to him. I give the film 3 stars.
Red Seven (DVD-R) – A new short film from the Unsafe Film Office people who entered this film into the “projecttwenty1†film festival and won an award! The festival film runs at just under 10 minutes and the uncut film runs over 11 ½ minutes. The short film is about a couple who go in with their friend Jake on a scam at an underground blackjack ring for a large payoff. One problem, it goes very wrong and that is just the beginning as the aftermath of the scam gone wrong makes for some very intense, entertaining, and well-acted scenes. Michael (The Tin God) McCallum stars as Jake and once again puts on a great performance for the camera. I give the short film 3 ½ stars. You are able to purchase or download the short film at www.unsafefilmoffice.com .
To Have and to Hold (DVD-R) – This film is a three minute short film that has no lines but lets the music tell the story of a man missing something from his past. It is beautiful to say the least. I give it 3 ½ stars. You can find it at www.unsafefilmoffice.com .
Shooters. Get the Picture (DVD-R) – Michael McCallum stars as a young photographer trying to get an important shot for an important front page story before his teacher who has taught him almost everything? Wallace Bridges puts on an ‘Oscar’ type of performance in this art film as did Michael McCallum. It is a great short art film well worth watching. I give it 4 stars. You can find it at www.unsafefilmoffice.com .
A Decade Under the Influence (DVD) – A documentary from IFC that is about 70s films and how they changed filmmaking in general. There are interviews with Clint Eastwood, Jane Fonda, Pam Grier, Dennis Hopper and many others as they talk about and go through some of the films in the 70s they thought changed the way films were made. An excellent documentary film for a film buff, I give it 3 ½ stars.
The Dream Reaper (DVD-R) – A micro-budgeted horror/comedy from Kevin Strange and Hack Movies. The film is about a lead singer named ‘Willy Nutsack’ of the garage metal band “Dream Reaper†who is having bad dreams about a figure who calls himself ‘The Dream Reaper’ and threatens to kill of all of the members of the band if Willy doesn’t break up the band. The film has lots of bad effects, bad acting, lots of jacking off, things they warn you of before the film even starts but that just helps the film along to be funny and enjoyable. But the film loses its luster over the length of the film as it drags at several points. In my opinion, I just think this is from the film being stretch too far time wise, a more cut down version would make the film even more enjoyable. The film is still well worth buying for the price and the effort that Hack Movies put into the film. I give it 2 ½ stars and you can buy at www.hackmovies.com .
Dead Shit (DVD-R) – Another film from Hack Movies that is about two dumb asses smoking pot and deciding whether they should fight of the horde of zombies that is approaching the house. Lots of bad zombie effects, fake blowjobs, dead girl fucking, and neighbors talking about putting cucumbers in their ass make this just over 31 minute film well worth the buy. No horror fan’s zombie collection would be complete unless you have “Dead Shitâ€. I was laughing the whole time watching this masterpiece. I think I have found a second feature to complete the double bill of great micro budgeted zombie films. The first feature being “Toxic Shock Zombiesâ€. I give this film 4 stars and you can purchase this film at www.hackmovies.com .
Any comments or questions please send to: LAN_EMAIL_SUBS or www.myspace.com/slasherfilmfan and you can also find my book I wrote called, “Gross Movie Reviews Volume One†that is available at: www.lulu.com and www.amazon.com . Also you can find me at www.bastardsofhorror.com , www.bloodtypeonline.com , and in the movie review section of Ultra Violent magazine. Remember folks if you are renting from Blockbuster you are not renting from the best! Support your local independent video store! It will keep horror alive………