Posted by Tim on
August 15, 2006
Sometimes you hear crazy stories but this one takes the cake. I heard on the local news over the weekend that somewhere in the PA area that a lady was attacked by a squirrel. But this was no ordinary attack, the squirrel attacked her friend and went to the original lady where she nawed through her skin trying to bite through her leg even after being kicked away several times. But that isn’t the end, police were called to the scene and they had to mace the squirrel not once but twice then peppered sprayed him before he was phased and after he attacked one officer. The squirrel was shot and taken to the local animal control to determine rabies or anything else was in its blood stream. So folks once again stop pissing off wild life, and apparently that Geico insurance commerical takes on a whole new meaning!
Posted by Tim on
August 15, 2006
Gross Movie Reviews #65
By Tim Gross
Hell’s Cemetery (DVD) – A short film about a ghost of a girl who haunts a cemetery and kills all who enter. Not a badly filmed short film that runs about 10 minutes and gets to the point of what it is about and entertaining. Pretty much my only problem with the short film was the acting especially the guy who played Steve, but who am I to complain about acting when most likely these are just friends trying to help out a broke talented filmmaker? I give the movie 2 ½ stars. The DVD also has interviews and can be found and purchased at www.twistedgate.com .
Salt Warz (DVD-R) – What do you get when you mix backyard wrestling, weed, Star Wars geeks? You get this laugh a minute, fucked up movie that possibly has you asking why I haven’t thought of this before. The movie itself runs around 45 minutes and has trailers and another short film about Howard Stern becoming a Mormon, which is the funniest shit I have seen in some time! Plus the music soundtrack for the film fits so well! I give “Salt Warz� 3 stars and you can find this flick at www.saltwarz.com and also find these guys now working with Hack Movies at www.hackmovies.com .
Dreadful (DVD-R) – A 12 or 13 minute short film that I can only explain as an artsy “Passion of the Christ�. I give credit to the filmmaker for going for something different as he goes black and white, and films more for body language to tell the story than just random people talking. It is like watching a dramatic play on TV I guess. The DVD also has quite a few short films that are worth the watch, interviews, and trailers of what is to come from One Eye View Productions and Kipp Poe Speicher. I give the short film 3 stars and you can the filmmaker at: LAN_EMAIL_SUBS and more about him and his work at www.myspace.com/kippoe , www.youtube.com/user/kippoe .
Goth Girls (DVD) – A DVD with a whole different take at the horror genre, “Erotic horror�. But we are not talking your usual Misty Mundae E.I. film either? Filmmaker Josh Maldonado is trying not only to give you erotic horror fans your usual or possibly unusual girls getting naked, bondage, etc. but do it with an interesting storyline that you are not just concentrating on just sex! Erotic horror is usually not my cup of tea just for the main reason, “I rather just watch porn!� But don’t let that scare you as Josh shows off not only his professional filmmaking talent but his willingness to use actresses who are not your typical Jenna Jameson, Brianna Banks, Misty Mundae, etc. but women who are a more of an actress who sport more of unique shape, look, and passion about them that in the long haul would have more appeal of average men and women interested in his films. Josh’s films seem to dive in more of the S & M scene that most people or society is not ready to exactly talk about yet. Josh as an independent filmmaker takes yet a different and fresh look at a genre that has yet to be untapped. I give the DVD 2 ½ stars and think you all need to really check out www.doorwayproductions.net if you are looking for something different?
Live Feed (DVD) – Pretty much a lower budgeted “Hostel� that gets to the point of sex, torture, and blood quicker and shows more than Eli Roth’s “Hostel�, but also lacks in storyline as with “Hostel� also! If you like tits, gore, and torture watch this with the last 20 minutes of “Hostel� and you got a double feature! I give the movie 2 stars.
Savage Planet (Sci-fi Channel/DVD) – The guy who plays Greg Stillson in the “The Dead Zone� TV series and the guy who played the warlock in “Warlock 3� after Julian Sands, are army agents who are trying to protect a business man, a doctor, lawyer, and scientists who travel light years to a new planet that might have the answer for Earth’s future! Boring at times and bad effects highlight this flick; I give the movie 1 star.
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (DVD) – Andrew Divoff as the “Djinn� awakens again after a botch robbery at a museum and finds himself gathering souls until he can get the woman who released him to use her three wishes. No where near as good as the first but still entertaining. I give it 2 ½ stars.
Marked For Death (DVD) – Steven Seagal’s second film, as he takes on the Jamaican mafia who has a leader who seems to have magical powers at times! It’s Steven Seagal; you should know me better by now as this is one of his better films and also stars horror genre vet David Keith who starred in ‘The Thing’ and ‘They Live’! I give this movie 3 stars.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Season One (DVD Box Set) – This is what happens when you are bored and have to watch TV with the wife! You get hooked on stupid shows. Anyhow, a spin-off show from ‘Law & Order’ that tracks five detectives who fight crime that deals with rape, child molestation, and abuse. Some interesting episodes that have some cool cameos by actors here and there that includes Andrew MaCarthury from “Weekend at Bernie’s� who plays a man who owns a sex slave in the season finale! Richard Beltzer is the highlight of the series as interjects his opinions about everything being a cover-up by the government which it’s been rumored he actually believes in his personal life also. I give the box set 2 ½ stars.
Any comments please send to: LAN_EMAIL_SUBS or www.myspace.com/slasherfilmfan and you can also find more reviews in a book I wrote called, “Gross Movie Reviews Volume Oneâ€? that is available at: www.lulu.com/grossmoviereview or www.amazon.com. Remember folks if you are renting from Blockbuster you are not renting from the best! Support your local independent video store! It will keep horror alive………
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