Loading ...The man, the myth, the legend, “Tim Thomerson” stars his new movie, “Left in Darkness” next month! The movie being released to DVD on September 19th, 2006, look for it in all your independent video stores!
Open Letter to Hollywood - Remakes
The current Hollywood trend of remakes seems to be
missing the mark by a long shot. In an industry that
should pride itself on originality and creativity, the
cookie cutter approach to filmmaking has produced some
dismal failures the past few years. Horror films have
been the target of this trend, since Hollywood has
figured out that money can be made in the genre, and
where there’s money to be made, the producers are not
far behind.
The typical Hollywood formula is this- Classic Horror
Film+High Priced Actor(s)+Too Much CGI=Success.
Unfortunately for the bean counters, this formula has
yet to pay off. The problem is that the current
generation of filmmakers has forgotten what the old
films had that made them successful.
Two cases in point-
It has been announced that George Romero’s Day of the
Dead is scheduled for a remake. Normally, I would
welcome this news as a chance to revisit a beloved
classic, but recent attempts to improve on other
original films have left me more than a little
skeptical. They could try to land Goerge Romero to
direct, but what would be his incentive? He got it
right the first time. So they’ll get someone else,
which is the first step down a deviated path that will
leave loyal fans disappointed. Next, they’ll try to
improve the original in some way. Excessive CGI,
changes to the fundamental storyline, maybe an MTV
style of editing and soundtrack. Or even sprinter
zombies, for crying out loud. After watching the
remake of Dawn of the Dead, I was appalled at that new
twist on the zombie paradigm. The whole point of a
zombie infestation is not that they could chase your
ass down like a cheetah on the African plains, but
rather that they would overwhelm you with slow, vast
numbers. The zombie has always been a symbol of
relentless despair, an unstoppable force of nature
that terrorizes by an agonizingly slow collective
single mindedness.
And most of the new Dawn zombies, truth be told, were
probably heaving their guts up after a few takes. Many
of them looked like they only ever moved that fast in
real life when the “Hot� sign lights up at Krispy
Kreme.
So, the makers of the new Day of the Dead should
listen to the fans. The audience is the only group
that you have to please and the one with all of the
power to make or break your film. I’ll even start you
off with a few dos and don’ts to set you on the right
track.
• Don’t try to reinvent the wheel.
There are reasons that the original has become so
beloved by fans. Stick with that. But at the same
time, we don’t want a VanSant style
frame-by-frame-Psycho remake either. Sounds picky, but
we’re paying the bills, so humor us.
• Cast some of the original cast members.
In the remake of Dawn, Ken Foree had a five second
cameo where he appeared on a TV screen. Are you
freakin’ kidding me? Granted it was the coolest line
in the film, but that’s not enough. As much as I like
Ving Rhames, I would have rather seen Ken Foree in
that role. No matter who you get, whether it’s the
Hollywood flavor of the month kid from the WB, or a
second tier star that sees the film as a resume
fluffer, no one has the charisma, and onscreen appeal
of Ken Foree.
• Bub.
If they make this thing, they have to have the
sequences involving Bub, the zombie. It’s not even a
subject for debate. If they leave it out, this movie
will fail, and fans will likely riot. And if the Bub
scenes are in, don’t even think of casting anyone but
Howard Sherman. Anyone else in the role, no matter how
good they perform, just cannot do the part justice.
End of story. If this advice is ignored and someone
else gets the part, I will personally find the person
responsible and shove their head even further up their
posterior.
A similar situation nearly occurred a few years back
with Phantasm. There was an announcement that the
franchise would undergo an update with Don Coscarelli
at the helm. As much as I hate remakes, I felt good
about this one because Don surely would not let the
pencil pushers screw up his baby, right? Once I got my
head around the idea of this remake of one of my all
time favorite films, it seemed that the whole venture
died a sudden, violent death.
Apparently, Hollywood wanted the new Phantasm to be
more in line with all of the other crap that has been
remade recently and Don walked away. I applaud the
integrity that turns down a huge payday in order to
keep the clarity of vision that will be needed to make
a new Phantasm film.
And to be honest, I really want to see a new Phantasm
film. More than I want just about anything else to be
on screen, but like Day of the Dead, I have some
demands:
• Let Don do his thing.
The studio was quite happy to cash the checks that the
original films brought in, plus merchandising money
from posters shirts and a diecast ‘cuda. Give him the
greenlight and leave him alone to work his magic. Or
failing that, let him work independently, as before,
and it’ll get done. We can rally the troops and get
all sorts of money together for a project like that.
And I know it would turn out much better than having a
dozen different producers spanking away in cubicles,
giving notes on a project that they don’t understand,
much less love like the fans do.
• Reggie and Angus.
Any remake has to have Angus Scrimm as the Tall Man,
and Reggie Bannister has to take him on. No one else
can play either of those parts. Seriously. Even
thinking about casting someone else will create an
uproar and will incite the fans to violence. There can
be no new Phantasm movie without Reggie and Angus…
they are Phantasm in every sense of the word.
Unfortunately for A. Michael Balwin and James LeGros,
it has already been shown that the fans will accept an
alternate Mike. Sorry guys.
That should be a good starting point for either film.
The key is to remember that the fans are the most
important part of the process, and the film should be
made for us, not for the accountants. There is a
reason that both films are so well loved and have had
such an impact on so many people. All the filmmakers
need to do is stick with what has worked before and
don’t butcher the classics. Horror fans have long and
vivid memories and do not forgive such violations easily.
This month’s issue of Rue Morgue covers what exactly happen to the Masters of Horror episode “Imprint”? They have two great articles concerning the episode and why it got the shaft by Showtime! In my opinion, it makes Mick Garris look like a pussy! And proved that Showtime is not going that extra step of showing uncensored episodes. If you are not going to let the filmmaker do his best what is the point? Hopefully this is the beginning of the end for Mick?
“MY DEAD GIRLFRIEND” TUGS AT YOUR HEART…THEN DEVOURS IT!
When there’s no more room in Hell…your girlfriend will walk the Earth! Canadian actor/director Brett Kelly (THE BONESETTER) returns with his biggest & best film yet, the horror-comedy MY DEAD GIRLFRIEND ($24.99 SRP, in stores October 24). DeadPit.com calls the film “truly hilarious…an undead WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S” from “one of horror’s best upcoming filmmakers”!
When Steve accidentally kills Amy by backing over her with his car, he attempts to revive her using an ancient book of magic. Unfortunately, Amy returns from the dead as a flesh-eating zombie! It takes all of Steve’s energy to keep their neighbors and friends from discovering the truth, and carnage ensues as Amy makes a meal out of Steve’s best friends!
MY DEAD GIRLFRIEND marks the debut of the filmmaker’s own Brett Kelly Entertainment label as part of a new partnership with Tempe Video which will include the forthcoming SPACEMEN & GO-GO GIRLS Double Feature as well as next year’s KINGDOM OF THE VAMPIRE Double Feature (including both the 1991 original directed by J.R. Bookwalter as well as the new remake directed by Kelly).
And this DVD is no less packed than usual, including an audio commentary with the cast & crew, cast & crew interviews (10 mins.), deleted scenes (3 mins.), blooper reel (4 mins.), “The Pretty Lie� short film (7 mins.) and plenty of Tempe DVD trailers.
MY DEAD GIRLFRIEND is available for preorder in our online store and thanks to our summer sale (see below), you can get your copy for only $12.49 — that’s a 50% savings off the suggested retail price of $24.99! But hurry, summer sale pricing is only valid through August 31, 2006! (Please note that preorder copies will ship in early September.)
And don’t forget to order these other Brett Kelly flicks, only $9.99 each thru August 31, 2006:
NIGHT CREATURES (Double Feature DVD) - $12.49 (includes THE FERAL MAN plus GHOUL SCHOOL!)
BONESETTER RETURNS & FINAL CURTAIN (Double Feature DVD) - $9.99
THE FERAL MAN (DVD) - $9.99
THE BONESETTER (DVD) - $9.99
SUMMER SALE ENDS AUGUST 31, 2006!Through August 31, 2006, online store customers will get “wholesale direct” pricing — that means everything from Tempe DVD and our subsidiary labels is 50% off the suggested retail price, with FREE Media Mail shipping to our U.S. customers!!Best of all, our wholesale direct summer sale pricing includes these great new releases!
THE SANDMAN (Special Edition DVD) - $12.49 (now in stock!)
DAWN (DVD) - $12.49 (now in stock!)
GENUINE NERD (DVD) - $9.99
DESTRUCTION KINGS (DVD) - $9.99
PROJECT: VALKYRIE (DVD) - $12.49
CARNAGE FOR THE DESTROYER (DVD) - $9.99
NIGHT CREATURES (Double Feature DVD) - $9.99
OCTOBER MOON (DVD) - $12.49
The talented, the beautiful, the very sexy movie star/model/singer has many updates to her home website so be a good fanboy and go check out what she has new for you!