Loading ...Our good friends at Ramsteer Films latest DVD “Secetary’s Day” has made it into Fangoria magazine and those guys are going crazy right now. Want to check out more about their movies go to: www.ramsteerfilms.com
Art, the editor of Ultra Violent magazine has recently informed everyone that Ultra Violent magazine will be releasing the 8th issue very soon, hopefully by September! One such article in it that should interest people is a first on-hands look at Cameron Romero’s “The Screening” which has had stories and rumors about what exactly is going with the film since it was announced it would be begin filming this year. The film has been surrounded by things that cannot be confirmed or denied and could possibly be the biggest talked about independent film that no one has ever seen since Rob Zombie’s “House of 1000 Corpses”!
You are now able to see Full Moon’s latest talked about feature’s trailer online at www.fullmoondirect.com . ‘Evil Bong’ will be released October 26th, 2006! Tommy Chong stars in this drug induced horror!
The Birds is the lastest to be done over… And with Rob Zombie redoing Halloween there is lots of concern what direction he is going to go since there is already rumors of a sequel being written as they write the first script… Speaking of Saw 3 is coming to theaters October 27th, which sounds even more retarded than ever before as just to keep in back of your mind Saw 4 is already being talked about! Eli Roth has not only been given the go ahead on Hostel 2 which picks up mere seconds after the first movie but has been assigned the director’s role for Stepehn King’s “Cell” for which could go into production possibly early 2007! The go ahead is just about to be given on the remake of Last House on the Left and there will be a sequel to Hills Have Eyes next year minus the dog with flashbacks! The Friday the 13th remake/sequel/whatever has been put hold for awhile until New Line decides where they want to go and finally there is rumblings that Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell are not happy with what has been suggested by studios for the Evil Dead remake which possibly be why there has been reports of Sam Raimi not wanting to do Spider-man 4 in order to focus what he wants for the Evil Dead series!
Have you ever been to www.deadpit.com ? If not you need to check it out, its two guys from Kentucky who run a two hour internet radio show and talk about horror movies and anything horror related. They run a new show every Friday and it is easy to check out once at the website. Plus they gave your man, me, Tim Gross a plug for my new book “Gross Movie Reviews Volume One” last week! Go check these kick ass motherfuckers out you won’t be disappointed!
The winner of our logo contest… Yes it was still going on while we were down… Expect to see this logo more often in the future?
Stephen King’s “Cell�
Reviewed by Tim Gross
One King’s best books in a long time since “The Dark Half� in my opinion! It begins with Clay, struggling writer who is in Boston and finally gets a book published after years and years of writing and getting no where. Then it happens as he stands at a corner watching people getting on a bus and they are talking on cell phones. One woman grabs the bus driver and begins to try and kill him in the doorway of the bus! A teenager who was on her cell phone and her friend trying to listen in begin to go nuts! The girl on the cell phone begins to scream and helps the older woman kill the bus driver! Screaming, blood begins to flow, the girl who was listening in on the conversation just begins to run into a steel telephone pole face first until she can not get up anymore and have her face is in chunks hanging and sliding down the pole. Cars begin to crash, people running around with knives stabbing everyone. That is when Clay understands something is wrong and need to find cover. Eventually after the initial chaos and Boston pretty much burning to the ground Clay and a few other people who he meets along the way figure out that somebody put a “pulse� through the cell phones at the same time and it basically makes everyone crazy! Clay and his new friends venture out of Boston to Maine as Clay wants to get home to find his young son to see if he survived as they all predict this most likely happened all over the world. It is 28 Days Later meets Stand by Me with cell phones being the thing that starts the chaos. The book is hard to put down as blood and chaos flow from the pages and an ending that has you wanting more and not trust your cell phone if you own one ever again? And like Stephen King, I do not own a cell phone… I give the book 3 ½ stars, check it out.
Lloyd Kaufmann Visits Pittsburgh, Pa
Now, I always thought Debbie Rochon was always the busiest actor there was in independent film? Well, I have to think Lloyd might have taken that role over after witnessing and hearing what exactly Lloyd Kaufmann’s weekend entailed. Now, I did some research on Friday, reading people’s blogs, websites, and myspace pages and at least seen Lloyd was doing roles for four different low budget Indy films along with his book signing, Incredibly Strange Video appearance, and Toxic Avenger showing and presentation!
It started with Lloyd coming in from New York to the Pittsburgh area sometime Saturday afternoon. His book signing for his new Toxic Avenger book was at Borders in near a mall in the South Hills area from 7pm to 10pm. From there, he left to do a role as a rock band manager/drug dealer in the film that just started production last Saturday, “Gone the Way of Flesh 2� follow-up to recently finished film “Gone the Way of Flesh�, which is being released by Troma films Feb. 2007! From there Lloyd left to go to his hotel room to get what sleep he could as he was being called for an early film shoot for a role in “I, the Killer�. The same people who made the recent release from Troma films, “Meat for Satan’s Icebox�. From there Lloyd went to lunch but was rumored to hit another film shoot for another cameo and then went to Incredibly Strange Video for his special in-store appearance from 3 to 6 pm. For which he arrived at 3:15 and left at 5 in order to make his next film shoot where he had yet another cameo. Then arrived at the Oaks Theater in Oakmont, Pa. to present the new uncut print of Toxic Avenger, which it was rumored he left the theater to do yet another cameo in another low budget film then went to his hotel room to get some sleep in order to fly out Monday back to New York.
You can understand why I think he is now the busiest person in low budget film these days. But what surprised me was his in-store appearance at Incredibly Strange Video was not nearly as big as it has been in the past with lines of people littering the street out the door of the store where this time it was just a steady flow of people for a little and then nothing. But a good crowd of 125 or so showed up for the screening of Toxic Avenger which was a little more than I think they were expecting? This raises some questions in my mind now: Why weren’t there as many people at the in-store appearance? Was it because he has visited Pittsburgh quite a few times or has he made himself much too accessible for fans? Is there such a thing as too much exposure or over exposure for somebody like Lloyd Kaufmann? Who knows? But I can tell you this folks you can rest easy as I did not insult Lloyd this around and being the only person that owns that honor I was nice too him and we had a quick conversation… Gave him a signed copy of my book and got a few pictures taken as you can see on the website.
Blade TV Series Pilot Episode
When this was announced last year about bringing the Marvel character to TV, it got me curious whether Wesley Snipes was going to be with the series or not. They were able to have a successful Buffy series why not another vampire TV series? Good question? But as it turns out in my opinion they answered that with the first episode. Lots of blood, lots of vampires dying, and lots of the new Blade. Now, even though it was the first episode I couldn’t stop thinking how they were going to keep up with showing all the blood and gore throughout future episodes and curious how they were going to continue the Blade 1 & 2 storylines with humans being marked among other things? Many questions ran through my mind that seemed to be answered as the episode went on with the new Blade relatively comfortable with the role and the writers keeping in a lot action. But then it happen as I do not like this expression at all but “they jumped the shark�! The ending was lame and the easy way out and pretty much made Blade a loser compared to the film character Blade! The bad guys for the most part got away so it can develop a vampire character that doesn’t seem to be that much of a match for Blade but carry on throughout the season and the final nail was put into the coffin when the woman you though would become part of Blade’s fight as a human is now a vampire going undercover using Blade’s serum to help her. Now wouldn’t the other vampires notice this? Wouldn’t they know something is up when she disappears to talk to Blade? Reason for “jumping the shark� before the show even starts and possibly why the show will not last more than one season if not for that but the high production cost it will eventually become to keep the show going! I give it 1 ½ stars out of four. I’ll keep watching but I predict we will be watching the series episodes over again sometime the end of next year on Sci-fi channel as most genre shows tend to go after networks are done with them!
Gross Movie Reviews #61
By Tim Gross
Actually this the second time I’m writing these reviews because I was a complete dumb ass and clicked the program off before I saved it… But how much of willing dumb ass piece of monkey crap are you to watch these movies that I have just reviewed?
Visiting Hours (DVD) - William Shanter runs a TV program with a woman who is being stalked by a crazy Michael Ironside who feels she needs a beating… Lots of bad acting from James T. Kirk and some gore are the highlights, outside of the cool box art for the DVD which they kept the original art (A skull in lights on a hospital). I give this movie 2 ½ stars.
Spacemen, Go-Go Girls & The True Meaning of Christmas/Spacemen, Go-Go Girls & The Great Easter Hunt: Double Feature (DVD) – Two short films that pay homage to Ed Wood and the corny sci-fi pictures of the 50’s with no budget, but a perfect script and good enough actors and actresses to pull off the dry humor and the wit you miss from today’s movies. The short films suck you in so much you are waiting for a cameo by the original B-movie star himself, Conrad Brooks! Be warned this no budget picture is not for everyone and especially not for the stupid. I give this double feature 3 stars.
Darkman (DVD) – An underrated comic book hero film that never got its due until its video release. Sam Raimi proves why he was the best choice for the Spider-man series with this flick that has a scientist who pays almost with his life when he defies the mob. An explosion changes and scars him and drives him in perfecting his synthetic skin that can make him anybody he wants so he can get revenge against the mob. I give this classic Raimi film 4 stars.
Clawed: The Legend of Sasquatch (DVD) – Another horrible piece of shit about a killer Bigfoot and no naked Tiffany Shepis! I give this movie ½ star.
DragonHeart (DVD) – Dennis Quaid befriends a dragon who is voiced by Sean Connery and is the last of his kind and shares his heart with an evil king who rules the kingdom in all in it. I give this movie 3 stars.
Underworld: Evolution (DVD) – Possibly the hottest woman in Hollywood, Kate Beckinsale puts on the skin tight leather again to play ‘Selene’ the Deathdealer in this sequel which picks up right where the first movie left off. Outside of the hot piece of ass that wonders the movie screen in skin tight leather, the movie goes downward as it confuses and destroys what was a great storyline about vampires vs. lycans (werewolves for the morons who sniffed their shit too much). The movie offers little in expanding a great storyline and offers little in the gore category. I give the film 1 star.
Bloodrayne (DVD) – The movie was in and out of theaters with good reason. This is another video game made into a movie by filmmaker Uwe Boll who refuses to actually make a watchable movie. The sad part of this big shit festival of a movie is it turned out better than his others “House of the Dead� and “Alone in the Dark� but will most likely be worse movie of the year for 2006! Watch the movie and see how many well known actors you see that refuse to claim they were in the movie. If there is one thing to watch the movie for it would be its gore scenes and naked melons but sometimes it is just not enough to enjoy shit festivals like this unless you were watching “Power Tool Massacre�? I give this movie 0 stars.
The Graveyard (DVD) – A low budget slasher movie from Lionsgate, of course, that you pretty much figure out in the first five minutes who is the killer. But the movie does not let a low budget get in the way of seeing some cool gore effects and a lot of screen time of an unknown actress’s cans! You know the formula, so rent if you dare but I give this movie 3 stars.
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys Season One (DVD Box Set) – Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert produced a series that updates the old myths about Hercules and the gods with five movies and 13 episodes that feature Hercules and his journeys to saving villages, fighting Aries the God of War, to seeking revenge for his family that was killed by Hera. The show is corny but has this weird appeal to it that just draws you to watching the series. Besides that the other things the show had going for it was great guest stars: Tony Todd, Lucy Lawless, Lucy Liu, Anthony Quinn, Richard Moll, and also had ‘Evil Dead’ man himself, Bruce Campbell! Who directed an episode but did not act on the show yet. I give this box set 2 ½ stars.
Trancers: The Definitive Collection (DVD Box Set) – After Charles Band’s “Puppet Master� series, the next best series would have to be his “Trancers� series. Subspecies is cool but not as much fun as the “Trancers� collection is? The five movie box set follows the adventures or should I say “Trancer hunting� of a cop from the future named, ‘Jack Deth’, played by veteran actor TimThomerson who has gained a cult following since the birth of these Full Moon Entertainment classics. The first movie takes place in 1984, X-mas, L.A. where Jack is sent down the line from the year 2247 to stop an evil Trancer who is hell bent on killing the relatives of the council who run “New L.A.� in the future! Second movie, picks up six years later where Jack Deth has married Helen Hunt who also starred in the first movie, and has been stuck in the past with no way home. But there is a problem again as new Trancers have sprouted up in L.A. and they are led by B-movie legend, Richard Lynch who is assisted by Jeffery Combs. Jack Deth is also joined by ex-wife, ‘Megan Ward’ in trying to rid the world of Trancers once again. Third movie picks up a year later after the second movie with Jack Deth now divorced from Helen Hunt and discovers that the Trancers are training people and giving them an advanced serum that boosts their Trancer strength and led by “Hellraiser� veteran Andrew Robinson. Who is trying to make the perfect solider for the Department of Defense! The fourth movie has Jack Deth sent back up the line to 2247 because his work has been done and now being divorced finds himself lost without killing Trancers. That all ends quickly when he is sent on a routine mission down the line and his time traveling machine is thrown off course and is destroyed having Deth stuck in the times of swords and sorcery! Jack Deth quickly finds the not so normal Trancers (who are vampires) and must fight them without his future weapons and must save a kingdom from the Trancers as it has been mentioned in a prophecy by an old man. The fifth movie continues the fourth movie storyline with Jack Deth trying to save a kingdom and find an impossible way back up the line to his home in 2247! This box set is great and brings back memories of how much fun the Jack Deth movies are when watching them. The DVD’s also have Full Moon Videozones and the second disc also has never-before-seen bloopers from Trancers 2 and 3.
Any comments please send to: LAN_EMAIL_SUBS or www.myspace.com/slasherfilmfan and you can also find more reviews in a book I wrote called, “Gross Movie Reviews Volume One� that is available at: www.lulu.com/grossmoviereviews , www.amazon.com, www.borders.com, or www.barnesandnoble.com . Remember folks support your local independent video store and not Blockbuster…
Bastards of Horror has some announcements coming up very soon concerning the GenghisCon 2 convention which is being held September 15-17th, 2006 at the Radisson in Greetree, Pa again… The first offical announcement is Tiffany Apan will be there with us to be the offical Bastards of Horror girl! Stay tuned for more announcements concerning what is going to a great convention!
New website addresses for Amy Lynn Best and Happy Cloud Pictures:
www.happycloudpictures.net
www.amylynnbest.net
Check them out!
Hey, hey, the gang is all here! We are back and bigger, badder, and gaser than ever! Holy shit we are back again! Thank god… I love when a plan comes together!
This is who saved www.bastardsofhorror.com
Not that we were really gone or anything, but we were having a shit load of problems in the technical area of things. I, being the genius that I am, used my vast intellect and technical knowledge to get everything back to normal. Thanks for sticking with us. Man, do we have things planned for you, especially Tim, Tim loves you more than I do.
Oh and by the way, Tim, resize your fucking pictures and quit messing up the layout.