Archive for May, 2006
Posted by Charlie on
May 26, 2006
Canadian auteur Brett Kelly delivers a double dose of 50’s rocket ships, 60’s go-go dancing, and valuable life lessons in this hilarious double feature. Using footage from public domain science fiction movies and his own talented cast of actors, Brett crafts two gems that are fun from start to finish. Ok now that I have the possible “box blurbs” out of the way we can get into real meat, potatoes and ass-kissing.
In the True Meaning of Christmas, two aliens from Uranus(slap) come to Earth in December to steal a desperately needed fuel source so they can help their planet defeat the attacking forces from Jupiter. They are confronted by members of a global go-go dancing crime fighting sorority who teach the Uranians what Christmas is all about. The spacemen end up not only taking the fuel source back with them, but the power of love as well. In The Great Easter Hunt, the two spacemen from Uranus come back to Earth in pursuit of the evil Baltok, a 6ft. man-eating rabbit dictator. Baltok has captured and replaced the Easter Bunny(on Easter Island no less) but is soon defeated by the spacemen with the help of the crime fighting go-go girls.
Both of these shorts are well written, well shot, and funny as hell. Brett has taken the shortcomings of a low budget production and ran with it, turning it into a parody of Ed Wood’s style of filmmaking. While some of the acting, and action, is a bit wooden, most of it is way above what you might normally expect from a low budget movie. A lot of the actors play off each other well, especially Brett and his co-writer Jodi Pitman as the spacemen from Uranus(slap). I also love that everything that takes place in Outer Space is in black and white, to match the public domain footage, yet everything on Earth is in color.
Bottom line, I would have to say this DVD fits nicely with films like Invasion! and The Lost Skull of Cadavera. It’s soon to be released by Tempe, but you can also get it directly from Brett. Get it for your next party.
Posted by Charlie on
May 26, 2006
Monsterwax.com has a great page on the first 10 years of monster trading cards. Check it out here.
Posted by Charlie on
May 24, 2006
They have Anne Rice, Peter Straub, Stephen King, Poppy Z. Brite and more. All of the files are as Word documents. You’ll need IZArc, not WinZip, to open them. The link is here.
Posted by Charlie on
May 23, 2006
Apparently the two got into an altercation and “Freddy” stabbed the man in the chest with his knives. Police arrested “Freddy” outside Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. The guy probably told him that Rutger Hauer could kick his ass. Here’s the story from CBS.
Posted by Charlie on
May 23, 2006
The list so far from the forums.
Aliens vs. Predator vs. Pumpkinhead
Pinhead vs. Leprechaun
Damien vs. Rosemary’s Baby
Rutger Hauer in The Hitcher vs. Michael Rooker in Henry
Ice Cream Man vs. Dr. Giggles
Barney vs. The Brood
Rawhead Rex vs. Your wife
The Killer Condom vs. The Killer Tongue
The People Under The Stairs vs. The Town That Dreaded Sundown vs. The Crazies
Slugs vs Squirm
Squirm vs. The Worm Eaters
Night of the Demon vs. Shriek of the Mutilated
The Brood vs. Rabid Grannies
When a Stanger Calls vs. Black Christmas
Shocker vs. The Horror Show
Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, Michael Myers, and John Carpenter’s The Thing vs. Clint Howard and Rutger Hauer
David Hess in Last House on the Left vs. David Hess in House at the Edge of the park vs. David Hess in Hitch-Hike
It’s a funny list until you realize that we aren’t joking.
Check out the forums for more bastardry.
Posted by Charlie on
May 23, 2006
Bryan Loves You will star George Wendt (Cheers), Tiffany Shepis (Abominable), Daniel Roebuck (The Devil’s Rejects) and a cameo by Lloyd Kaufman of Troma Entertainment. The feature begins shooting in June in Phoenix , Arizona.
There’s also an exclusive pic of the mask of the Bryans here: http://www.grassrootstheory.org/bryan.htm.
Posted by Charlie on
May 23, 2006
There have been many movies about vampires, but very few about vampire children! Fat Cat DVD (distributed by Tempe Video) is out to change all that on August 15 with the release of writer/director Jay Reel’s excellent DAWN ($24.99 SRP, prebook July 14).
Dawn is a special little girl with special needs. Born from a human father and a vampire mother who died while giving birth, Dawn requires blood to survive. She and her father travel across the country, assuming new identities and never staying in one place for very long — until a small-town detective with psychic abilities pays extra attention to the murder of one of his townsfolk. DAWN is a fresh take on the vampire mythos, expertly written & directed by Jay Reel with stirring performances by a cast of newcomers you won’t soon forget!
DAWN is a 2006 production which marks its DVD debut with an audio commentary from director Jay Reel, stars Ray Boucher & Kacie Young and cinematographer Mark Sawyer, a 17-minute gag reel and Tempe DVD trailers.
Posted by Tim on
May 21, 2006
“GONE THE WAY OF FLESH�
From CUT ‘N’ RUN PRODUCTIONS
FRIDAY MAY 26TH, 2006
8:00pm
TICKETS: $8 AT THE DOOR OR $5 BEFORE THE 26TH THROUGH THE WEBSITE: WWW.CUTNRUNPRODUCTIONS.COM
ALSO VISIT: WWW.THEJASONMARTINKOREVUE.COM
THE REX THEATER
1602 E. CARSON ST.
PITTSBURGH, PA. 15203
412-381-6811
The story of a mysterious killer with a blood-lust for rock ‘n’ roll groupies. A local town is outraged as under-aged female fans start turning up in pieces after live performances by The Jason Martinko Revue. It is up to one detective to rid his city of this traveling road show of filth, as he struggles to overcome numerous addictions. The soundtrack to this outrageous, gory & tasteless film is provided by the Jason Martinko Revue. So if you like nudity, drugs, violence, filth & rock ‘n’ roll you won’t want to miss…
THE CAST
Detective Haynes – Jimmy Haynes
The Chief – Jesse Fitzgerald
Vance Woodrum – Matt Kostovny
Smooth – Joshua Fandry
Rev. Rick Richardson – Brent Fiegel
Detective Wooten – Jason Wooten
Billy K. – Himself
Street Singer – Bill Dorsey
The Barker – Craig Bolton
The Victims
Bridget O’Neill
Robinne Heart
Sondra Petri
Arianna Luce
Lisa Christopher
Roxxxy Roulette
Raven Metz
With
Bill McMillen Andrew Czmola Jessie Mastele
Jared Bajoras Bette Amber Daer
Katy Sopchack Devin Walsh Lauren Martinko
Brianna Jean Zalar Steve Parco William Holt
Roberta Adamski Brian Borrasso Josh Renna
Summer Valentine Bob D’Ippolito Glenn Nolle
Pinky Flamingo Melissa Johnston Lee Ann Haas
Bino Mafia Mollie Reagan Jane Grover
Kevin Winwood Sherry Durick Amy Berlin
Natalie Baverso
FILM CREW
Jason Martinko
Jordan McMillen
Nate Fitzgerald
Bob D’Ippolito
Joel Walker
John Phillips
Jesse Fitzgerald
Ian Bennett
Corey Mielke
Mike “HED� DiMaria
Mike Yanizeski
Annie Fitzgerald
Kevin Winwood
ALL SONGS BY
The Jason Martinko Revue
Original Score By
Jordan McMillen
Special Thanks To:
Sue Mitchell, Mitchell’s Tavern, Steve Weitzman, Bare Assets, Mark Grana, Grana’s Market, George Zaloumes, Giorgio’s Pizza
Technical Information
“Gone the Way of Flesh� was filmed & edited between February 2003 & March 2006. During this time, no more than seven hundred dollars was spent on production. No actors were paid. All costs were spent on film, costumes, props, & effects.
Several cameras were used during the filming of “Gone the Way of Flesh�. These are some models:
Quasar VM-L451 (VHS-C)
Sharp VL-A110U (Hi-8)
Sony DCR-TRV350 (Digital 
JVC GR-DV3000U (Mini-DV)
Sony VX-2100 (Mini-DV)
“Gone the Way of Flesh� was edited on Final Cut Pro 5. Soundtrack Pro was used to complete the audio.
Celebrity Quotes
“I thought I’d seen gory, irreverent, don’t-give-a-dam movies as far out as they could get. Wrong! That label now belongs to, “Gone the Way of Flesh�.
-Herschel Gordon Lewis
(The Godfather of Gore)
“The movie is the best movie I have I have ever seen! It’s Toxeriffic!�
-Lloyd Kaufman
(Troma Entertainment)
Posted by Tim on
May 21, 2006
“SECRETARY’S DAY!� Review
This short film was made by ‘Ramsteer Films’ which came from the great minds of Bob Heckman and Robert Harrison. These guys are huge fans of 80’s horror films as I am and have made some of the funniest short horror films in the past: ‘The Chosen’ and ‘Bad Review’! Well they now bring you “Secretary’s Day!� The tagline is “Michael has Halloween; Jason has Friday the 13th, now someone has Secretary’s Day!� The movie was even quoted by ‘Beastmaster’ star Marc Singer as “the greatest movie ever!� This funny ass slasher short film is about a guy who killed a bunch of secretaries a few years ago and disappeared and is back again for no reason at all except to kill more secretaries! The film moves at a brisk 34 minutes with jokes about everything and anything from Tom Savini to the character ‘Ralph’ from Friday the 13th to Pee-Wee Herman’s Big Adventure. Lots of blood, a detective that does things by the book and bad acting in a fun way make this slasher film a joy for the whole family. I did not stop laughing until the credits are gone which are also worth watching as they of course put different names into producers, stuntmen, etc. What’s great about Ramsteer Films that more small budget Indy companies need to take note from Bob Heckman and Robert Harrison, is don’t take your film to seriously, have fun with it, and have passion for making the film you are making. These things do come through while watching their film work and always makes it a pleasure to review their films! Their DVD actually is two DVD’s which the first disc is the movie and the movie with commentary from Heckman and Harrison which at times is as funny as Bubba Ho-Tep’s commentary from Elvis (Bruce Campbell)! The second disc is their Bonus Features: Bloopers/Outtakes, Trailers, two segments ‘A Tribute to Jon Meltzer’ and ‘For the love of Ryan Roc’ who was an actor who was a big part of their past short films. Also for the Full Moon fans such as myself, they have “Ramzone�! Which is a segment where Robert Harrison talks about the production of ‘Secretary’s Day’ and discusses future projects ‘Ramsteer Films’ is working on for 2006. The film had me at “random shot of woods� and I give this short film 3 ½ stars! Also for anybody interested in purchasing the DVD: www.ramsteerfilms.com and $8 of your hard earned cash.
Posted by Tim on
May 21, 2006
GROSS MOVIE REVIEWS #59
By Tim Gross
I dare you to watch all of these movies during the Memorial Day Weekend!
Night of the Creeps (DVD-R) – To be honest this film is not officially out on DVD, reason for DVD-R. Should it be? Hell yes! This film deserves a special edition 2-disc edition if any horror deserved one! A classic from the 80’s that stars a wise-cracking cop (Tom Atkins) who investigates a dead body at a college research facility and one that is missing. It turns out that two college kids were trying to pull a prank when they unfroze a corpse at the college research facility and it came alive. Next thing you know, we got zombies, leeches crawling into people’s mouths, crazed killers who been dead for 27 years walking again, and lots and lots of gore. Special effects were done by the two of the three legends in make-up, ‘Kurtzman and Berger’. This 88 minute movie has all you can want in a mid-80’s classic and more including two different endings, so if you find it, be happy until they do a special edition! After you watch it expect yourself picking up the phone and answering, “Thrill me?� I give this movie 4 stars.
Night of the Comet (DVD-R) – So it is 1984 in LA and everyone is watching the comet come past earth. What would you do? Well in classic 80’s LA fashion everyone is out watching the comet except a select few. Next morning comes and two teenage sisters wakeup to find out that everyone has either: a) became a zombie or b) turned to brown and red dust! So what do they do? Go shopping! For as corny as the movie is and sometimes shows its signs of being a low budget production it still doesn’t stop it from being a fun movie that put a scare in some people the year before Haley’s Comet was coming back near Earth! Of course the movie has lost its edge but is a great flashback kind of movie that captured what the mid-80’s were all about in movies. The movie’s only stars were Geoffrey Lewis and the man from the Chuck Norris movie “Lone Wolf MacQuade�, Robert Beltran. Plus a weird fact about the movie is it was one of the first PG-13 sci-fi/horror movies released. I give it 4 stars.
The Dark (DVD) – Ginger Snaps director brings us this direct-to-DVD film that stars Maria Bello (nice!) and Sean Bean (Lord of the Rings) as divorced parents who decide to have a summer together for the sake of their young daughter. A big problem happens when the daughter has gone missing and cannot be found but the mother keeps having visions of her being kept captive in a underwater hell at the place they are staying. Movie unfolds the history of the place and you get confused from there. I give this weird ass movie 2 ½ stars and give me call when you exactly understand it?
Day of the Animals (DVD) – Anyone who was anyone that first got cable in the early 80’s knew about this movie playing on TBS right after the ‘Beastmaster’? The ultimate ‘when animals attack’ movie starring a shirtless Leslie Neilson who attempts to rape a young woman after killing her boyfriend and decides he can take on a bear! No, I’m not kidding! Its 1976 and animals are attacking a local town in the mountains because of global warming. Check this new DVD out as it has 2 versions of the film and see what started all the ‘when animal attack’ movies. I give this movie 3 ½ stars.
Grizzly (DVD) – Movie came out in 1976 and has to be to date the bloodiest PG rated film that anyone has filmed. For the love of god, a kid’s leg gets eaten and they show it! The film was made by the same director that gave you “Day of the Animals� and was apparently on this global warming film kick back in 1976 as this was to blame for a 15 foot ‘Grizzly’ coming down the mountain to eat people! What makes the DVD even more fun to watch is the extras and how they got a bear to be filmed, very entertaining as you are just waiting for a real life bear attack on film! I give this film 3 ½ stars!
Rodentz (DVD) – Another low-budget film about a killer rat that escapes a lab cage and kills a bunch of so-called young college students in a lab where they are partying at. Look for the main blonde college girl as she looks to be old enough to be getting the senior citizen discount for coffee at “Burger King�! I give this film 1 star.
Tales From the Crypt presents: Ritual (DVD) – What, you didn’t know they made a third Tales from the Crypt film? Shit, neither did anyone else! Apparently, this film was made in 2001 and then shelved for whatever unknown reason (Maybe it sucked huge ass!) But anyhow Craig (Nightbreed) Sheffer and after nose surgery Jennifer Grey star in this movie that is pretty much about voodoo in the land they call Jamaica. What is insulting is not that Dimension Films released this; it’s that the Cryptkeeper looks so unlife like compared to the other two movies and the TV series. And to top that it was a remake of a 1943 film, “I Walked With a Zombie…�! For the most by the end of this review you won’t care anyhow, I give it 1 ½ stars.
Abominable (DVD/Sci-fi Channel) – Lance Henriksen, Jeffery Combs, Dee Wallace Stone, and the very beautiful and talented Tiffany Shepis star in this movie that has Bigfoot attacking a man in a wheelchair and five girls in remote cabins in the mountains with nobody to save them. A fun 90 minute bloody ride with Bigfoot I would best describe it! Plus this movie is supposed to start the freefall of Bigfoot movies that will be released in the next year! I give it 2 ½ stars.
Any Comments: e-mail me at – LAN_EMAIL_SUBS or go to www.myspace.com/slaherfilmfan . And for you horror fanatics looking for the ultimate review book, check out: www.lulu.com/grossmoviereview or just go have some fun at www.bastardsofhorror.com .
Posted by Tim on
May 21, 2006
“SEE NO EVIL� REVIEW
By Tim Gross
So horror fans including myself are in a uproar of the latest horror film being remade or the latest horror film you had hopes for is PG-13 because people have become worried that youth of America is only influenced by horror films and not the everyday reality where the news is more graphic than any horror film and pretty much every film fan has ‘ADD’ now! Well I’m here to tell you that I have found the solution to this problem even it’s only for 100 minutes, but a well spent 100 minutes! The solution: “See No Evil�! Who cares it only opened in limited theaters across the country including only 3 out of 25 in the local Pittsburgh, Pa. area. Plain and simple the film is a straight to the bone through flesh slasher film! The last slasher film that hit theaters to lay claim to this was ‘Freddy vs. Jason’ a couple of years ago. Think about this for a minute, if you take away the ‘Scream’ movies and the ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ films when was the last slasher film in theaters? No don’t even say “Jason X�! Yeah, I can’t fucking remember either?
The film is about a giant man named Jacob Goodnight (Kane ‘WWE wrestler’) who thinks he is killing young people for the lord and rips there eyeballs out to wash the evil from their eyes. Some teenage convicts are selected for a community service project where they have to clean out an old hotel to get time off their sentences. What they don’t know is Jacob lives here and he is ready to kill! Other than that there is not much to the movie. If you are looking for plot or that crafty cliché or have the story explained to you completely before the movie gets going since Hollywood now does that in every remake of a horror film because most people are stupid and have fucking ADD and me its like belonging to slow reading group in the first grade! Lots of blood, lots of bodies and people die in great inventive ways. All the things you need for a great slasher film! Is the film good? No way, its bad but in the great way of slasher films that have come before it: Friday the 13th sequels, The Burning, Halloween sequels, etc., lots of senseless violence and plot holes big enough to drive your truck through! And that is what makes ‘See No Evil’ a great film and the reason why all horror slasher film fans should embrace a film like this! Or as one person put it on a message board, “Kane kills people�! That was his review of “See No Evil� on the message board and I could not have said it better myself… I give the movie 3 stars.
Posted by Tim on
May 21, 2006
“Ultra Violent Movies� Book Review
By Tim Gross
The book was published back in 2000 and has since been read by many people but not much said about it. The author Laurent Bouzereau talks about the effect of violent movies on Hollywood and life itself throughout the years and does not regulate the movies to just horror films. He takes through the 60’s to 2000 going in-depth on movies such as ‘The Wild Bunch’, ‘Pulp Fiction’, ‘A Clockwork Orange’, ‘Raging Bull’, etc. He presents interviews he conducted with some of these filmmakers getting what their thoughts were on bringing the film to the big screen and how it would affect audiences, life, and ratings of future films they would make. At first I was kind of iffy as I began to read the book as it started out like ‘Joe Bob Briggs’s’ book “Profoundly Disturbing�. But as it continued and really got into movies such as “Taxi Driver� or “Godfather� I understood it was not just targeting films that defined violence of that era or just Hollywood itself. It was interesting how it got into films you wouldn’t think twice now these days of how the filmmakers would fight for the right to show violence on screen whether it was with MPAA ratings board, producers, or even theater owners themselves! For me it opened my eyes to other films including very big budgeted mainstream films outside of the horror genre have huge troubles also when it comes to violence and there seems to be always somebody injecting their opinion on what is ok for audiences and what is not usually being based on their religious beliefs or political views. You name a violent movie and the author Laurent Bouzereau pretty much covers it in depth as much as possible. In my opinion, this book is not just for a film buff like me who is into just mostly horror films but even the casual movie fan who goes to the theater maybe once a month to catch the latest blockbuster. If anything the book leaves you questioning how some of these people come into power at the MPAA, government, or studio exec and how is it they are able to wield their political power or beliefs on movies without question most times! But don’t take from me read the book yourself and see if it opens your mind as much as it opened mine…
Posted by Tim on
May 21, 2006
Our friends at ‘Rebel Pictures’ has a new website that promises to bigger, better, and updated more often than the last. The new website address: www.rebelpictures.net
Posted by Tim on
May 21, 2006
A day after the two gators were captured, in the same area another gator had to be put down as it stood guard on a lady’s doorstep as she tried to leave her house. The gator kept her trapped for a few hours until authorities were able to kill and move the gator. Reports out of Florida are saying the reason for these recent attacks is ‘mating season’!
Posted by Tim on
May 17, 2006
Its like a tag line in a bad B-movie. But it is true in the past week Gators were attacking people in local area pond in Florida Everglades at a park where people would take their kids to play, people would exercise, etc. Three people died in the past week. Finally yesterday the gators were caught! One 9-foot gator and another gator that was over 15-foot in length!!! They found the arms of a jogger killed last Saturday in one the gators stomachs! The gators are being killed and tested to see what the hell is wrong with them. This is what people get when they don’t take movies like Eaten Alive!, Alligator, and Alligator 2: The Mutation seriously! News about the story can be found in the past week’s archives on www.kdka.com .
Posted by Tim on
May 16, 2006
Tiffany Apan
She can be contacted through: www.dropdeadbeauty.com
Posted by Tim on
May 16, 2006
Hey! I’m just saying hi to the Bastards of Horror team and letting everyone know that I also had an interview with Bums Corner! Check it out at http://www.bumscorner.com I am also working on the film,”Death’s Prophecy” with Life and Death productions (I will also be their official website model as well as being on their production staff) and “I, the Killer” with Kiss of Death Productions! Don’t forget to check out my website, http://www.dropdeadbeauty.com and join my Yahoo Group! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/drop_dead_beauty/ You can also catch me on My Space at http://www.myspace.com/dropdeadbeauty2 Stay cool:)
xo,
Tiffany Apan
Posted by Tim on
May 16, 2006
One of the hottest ‘Scream Queens’ is in Sci-fi’s Saturday night feature “Abominable”! Yes, Tiffany Shepis is starring with Jeffery Combs, Dee Wallace Stone, and Lance Henriksen! Apparently Bigfoot is back and is pissed off and wants to kill Tiffany! Personally if I was Bigfoot I know what I want to do but that is a horror fanatic’s geeky wet dream! So don’t forget this Saturday night ‘ABOMINABLE’, starring one of Bastards of Horror’s favorite actresses “TIFFANY SHEPIS”!!!
Posted by Tim on
May 15, 2006
My book:
Gross Movie Reviews Volume One is now available everywhere on the web…
www.lulu.com/grossmoviereviews
www.amazon.com
www.borders.com
www.barnesandnoble.com
The book is $12.99 and $11.56 or something if you are on www.barnesandnoble.com and have a membership.
Also www.gorezone.net will be reviewing and posting the review on their website very soon.
Plus INCREDIBLY STRANGE VIDEO in Dormont, Pa is selling copies!
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