Posted by Tim on
March 8, 2006
No DAWN OF THE DEAD sequel: While in Chicago promotion his film SLITHER, which Universal Pictures will release on March 31st, James Gunn had a little scoop about what his plans were for his next feature film. All he could tease was “it’s a film about Satan.” But he also expressed that he had no interest in doing the sequel to DAWN OF THE DEAD, while producer Eric Newman chimed in telling the audience that “as of right now there are no immediate plans for a sequel”. (thanks to Bloody-Disgusting.com)
Thank GOD!
Posted by Tim on
March 8, 2006
Well, where do I start is the big question? Who cares? But anyhow we went to a special preview of “The Hills Have Eyes� last night. Exciting isn’t it? It started Monday night when I got a call from Charlie saying he had free passes to the preview of “The Hills Have Eyes�. At first I said no! He asks, “Why?� I begin to go off in my usual rant-style of how it is going to suck and most remakes are a big pile of 10 pound shit stuffed into a 5 pound bag! Charlie yells back and this goes on for about 20 minutes until I just say, “Yeah, I’ll fuckin go!� Of course I try to explain to Charlie I have values and don’t care it is free because it is going to suck! Charlie says to me, “Well, you might have values… But you sure don’t have standards! I have seen some of the crap you have watched!�
We were off to this theater where I felt underdressed and felt you needed to be part of a secret society in order to be walking near the theater! That is another story for another time; let’s get right to the dam movie. After the movie was over and the credits rolled, I wanted to bitch, moan, etc. about how big of a piece of shit the movie was! Was it? Of course! But after 24 hours have passed and I’ve calmed down now. I thought to myself today what is the point of bitching about another remake? Does it even matter anymore? So, if you are a fan or over 25 and know it’s a remake your reaction will most likely be, “Why?� This will be almost a guarantee if you are a fan or have at least seen the movie. The first hour of the movie is pretty much step by step as the original. The remake has more gore than the original which is surprising just because unless Quentin Taratino’s (I’m sure it’s misspelled, and don’t give a fuck either) name is on the movie you apparently are not allowed to have gore in your movie if it’s playing on the big screen these days. At times I was starting to think he was sucking every member’s dick on the MPAA or he just has an uncredited producer or extra role on this flick! Getting back on track, it seems the whole point to the movie being remade was just to give it backstory. Why? Why does everything have to be explained these days in horror films? What happen to the good old days like the late 70’s and 80’s where people died, or got killed, or slaughtered just because they were there? But while I watched this movie and think about it now, it becomes more clear especially when I sat in the type of crowd I sat with last night! People have just gotten dumber!!! People don’t care! It has to be explained or the horror movie just sucks! Which brings up another question to why is it that every new director needs to make a big Hollywood remake of a horror film we love so they are allowed to direct or write other films in Hollywood? This isn’t the director’s fault, but whose is it? Does Hollywood have something againist the horror genre anymore? You don’t exactly see fucking Citizen Kane( shut up Mike Watt), E. T., Casablanca, or even Wizard of OZ (sorry the fucking Wiz doesn’t count) being remade!? Way too many questions, way too many answers that are not worth going through, so here it is for the simple people: It’s gory, it’s a horror movie, and it’s going to make 65 million dollars whether I say it is good or not! Bottomline it blows, but no near as much as the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake and not as much as most recent horror movie remake crap we have been subjected to lately. What’s the beauty anymore is you won’t remember it by time the Thanksgiving turkey is coming out to your dinner table. So I hated go fucking see it in hopes that it will make a bunch of money and possibly someday Hollywood might make a horror movie without it being a remake. Which to end this I ask after seeing “The Hills Have Eyes�, and writing about it, is this, “WHY?�
Posted by Charlie on
March 8, 2006
I went to see a preview of The Hills Have Eyes remake last night. I figured, free tickets what the hell right. It was kind of a weird experience. I’m a big fan of the 1977 original, so is Tim(I had to drag his sorry ass there. He will go see any piece of crap that comes out but when I get free tickets he gets integrity. Some people are just difficult to be difficult I guess.), and so were a handful of other people I knew that were scattered throughout the audience. It was almost like I was watching a different movie than the rest of the audience. Something would happen to make the audience react and myself and the other 10 people who knew what was going on would either giggle or groan that the movie fucked up that particular scene. Maybe the rest of the audience should have watched the original 200 times before hand so they could jaded like me.
Now this was a remake in every sense of the word, almost too literally. Some directors<*cough* *Burton* *hack*> will try to distance themselves from the word remake and call it a re-imagining to pretend that what they are doing isn’t bullshit. The Hills Have Eyes was virtually a copy of the original. The only difference is that they tried to give a back story to the hill people, oh and the hip MTV style editing of course.
As you probably have sensed, I was not entirely happy with this film. The first big problem I had was the back story. They made a big deal about the back story to the point that they were hitting you over the head with it until you understood. By the end of the opening sequence I was suppressing myself from shouting “We fucking get it already! Move on dammit!”. I did think it was cool that they went back to the original concept that Wes Craven had that the hill people were the way they were because their fathers or grandfathers were exposed to nuclear fallout. I did, however, think it was far creepier in the original that the father, Jupiter, was a nigh invulnerable abhorition of nature who bred a family with a sleazy evil whore. Now they’re bashing you in the head that these people are mutants and that fallout has made them deformed, cannibalistic killers, making damn sure you know what they are, but they never tell you who they are. The original spends enough time on both families(the “normal” one and the hill one) that you may end up picking sides. In the remake, you hear names being said but you have no clue who is who. Honestly, at one point I just wanted everyone to die, drop a bomb kill everyone and let me get back to my car to see if someone had stolen my Sirius receiver.
There are only two real instances of characterization in the whole remake. The first is the transformation of Doug from being the weak, married-in outcast of the family to becoming a hero. The second, and actually right out of the original, is the scene where Pluto’s brother pulls him off of the girl he’s trying to rape saying “Boy you got to be a man before you can do that” sending Pluto into a hissy fit trashing the kitchen of the camper. That scene is literally the only time that you get any sense of family amongst the mutants in the remake. Two of the main characters, Ruby and Papa Jupe, from the original are even just glossed over here. In the original you become sympathetic with Ruby and really despise Jupiter. In the remake Ruby makes you go “aw look at the cute little mongoloid girl dressed up like little Red riding Hood” and and you hear about Jupiter once(”Don’t worry, Jupiter said he was gonna get them”) until he shows up at the end to die. The best characterization in the whole remake is Beast, the dog. You can feel his desire for revenge, his sense of duty to protect his family, and his despair of being saddled with such idiots.
Ok, now to the mutants and the “test town”. At the point in the remake where Doug actually grows a pair and goes to hunt down the mutants and get his baby back, he comes across a fake town that the government used as a target for testing nukes. Of course this is where the mutants live. This is also where you find out that the mutants are descended from arrogant and stupid miners who when the Government told them that their land was going to be used for a nuclear testing site stayed anyway and that’s why they eat people. Seriously, whatever happened to good old fashioned people eating people movies? Why is it only socially acceptable if you’re a mutant? Anyhow, if you’ve seen any Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Wrong Turn you’ve already seen the “test town” sequence, trust me.
I also got tired of the “startling jump” every ten minutes. The “startling jump” is where you get lulled into being calm or revved up by tension and then something jumps into the frame or runs by with a big music hit that makes you jump out of your seat. There’s nothing horrorific about being made to jump because you got surprised. Once or twice it works, then it gets annoying after a while. I’m serious, it happened at least 5 times in the first half hour.
Do I even need to get into how much fight scenes where they turn the gain up on the camera, shake the camera, and speed up and slow down the film to be edgy has to just go away?
I could rant this into a small pamphlet if I keep going, so I guess I should move on to what I did like. First and foremost, the soundtrack was great. It was creepy when it needed to be, edgy when it needed to be and did wonders for building tension when it need to. One of the best I’ve heard in a while.
Thanks to the Greg Nicotero, the best thing Tom Savini ever produced, the effects were top notch. Really might be the first time since Savini that I wanted to cheer a pick ax to the head. Though Doug at the end was looking a little bit like Bill Paxton before he burst into flames at the end of Near Dark.
Bottom line, really, don’t be a sheep and go see this before you see the original. Granted it’s entertaining and a hell of a lot better than the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, but see the original first. If you’re really jonesing for freakish mongoloid mass murderers, watch Skinned Deep or dig up the Barbara Bach classic The Unseen.
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